I was doing a little reading last night about shamanism:
[And just so you know, I will likely never get into the verbiage-ethics of the use of the word shamanism as it applies to the spiritual practice of awareness/traveling to realms not so bound by our physical natures. This unending debate is steeped in opinions about cultural misappropriation, appropriate language, and clear communication. Until we can agree upon a term that relates the general practices, we're stuck with the closest thing we've got. Don't complain about it if you're not going to offer solutions...]
Coming back from that tangent, whilst reading, I realized the spirituality of our ancestors that so many of us want to bring back to life within ourselves was largely centered around hunting, gathering and agriculture. In meditating on this, the gods of the natural world were the gods they spent all their time around. They were hunters who prayed to Cernunnos and animal spirits, they were farmers who prayed to rain. They were communities that prayed to fire. And yet, I cannot find a mythos where even the old gods aren't dead yet... The gods of Greece and Rome had long overthrown the Titans; replacing earth and sea with war, strategy, love and beauty. The Tuatha de Danann were overthrown by invaders, despite their magical prowess and respect for the earth, and were forced underground. The Vanir, gods of the natural world, along with the Giants, warred with the Aesir and lost, giving way to thought and prowess of the mind. They prophesied that there would be the final battle of Ragnorak, where the Aesir would die...
Did our ancestors even love the gods of old? Were the rain and wind too fearsome, the sea too grand, and the mountains too powerful? I'm writing this at work behind a desk, in the midst of my romantic notions of 'getting back to the land,' knowing how unfulfilling my busy life of work, laws and taxes is... Wishing I had more time for the gods, realizing that in surrounding ourselves with our comforts, they truly have been supplanted by the gods of wrath, wisdom, revelry and organization. What need have I for the gods of rain, sun and sea? I'm no fool, and I know how important they still are, but in our time they have taken a last-row seat to make room for other concepts such as justice, legislation, power, influence, money, education and intelligence. We have forgotten that we came from the elements, and created our own, new standard; replacing our origins with some future unknown, untested and unquestioned. Every generation takes steps further into technology and doesn't bother to ask why or what the consequences may be.
Is there a way to reconcile the old gods and the new? I am one person, can I slow the momentum of the new gods of humanity? Can I find my own middle ground? In every culture those gods are always at war... Is it healthy to move backwards? Can we take a break to ask the questions of where our species is headed and why? How relevant are the old gods when today humanity worships it's own idea[l]s?
My soul cries out and I can feel the current imbalance within myself; I struggle to find it even in just my own little spirit. Some feel that humanity should progress, but I am pulled much slower. I have never felt more satisfied than working hard to get the cows fed or the garden tilled and watered. But I was only blessed with moments; perhaps I'd feel different if that was my daily grind? Would it be more enriching? I won't know if I don't do it, but I only have so many years and then what?
The only answer I have is that if I am ever caught up in the war of the gods, be it in this life or long after, I know where my lot will be cast. Perhaps I am not the healer but the warrior? Or perhaps the warrior-politico, convincing Gaia to don her war-helm and fight back against our meager creations? But Gaia hasn't been known to choose sides, she has always sought balance... perhaps she will teach me to as well. Perhaps she will teach us.
Wolf Spirit guide me.
Earth Mother teach me.
Nature Father love me.
Ancestors grant me your wisdom,
As we have forgotten.
